a toilet bowl + dolly (skytrain), but the worst i had to do was a 90 lb portable Air conditioner from coquitlam center to lougheed mall (a 2 bus trip + 10 minute walk). Ended up with bruises on both my bicepts. Dont underestimate what can be done using public transportation.
LOL! Sounds like something a previous employer had me do but I guess this wouldn't be the thread to bash them.
Edarion I've noticed your posts for awhile now and it sure reads like you're motivated to make this happen for your new setup.
There are a few places I know of, Island Pets being closer to you, that sell substrate by the pound. I think I paid $1.00 and some change per pound of some nice, safe and tested fine sand with very minimal silica chunks in it. It looked very natural too (like very clean bright beach sand I suppose). Don't know if anything has changed as they were making the transition from Big Als to IPU as we know it.
The helpful rep used a simple rule of thumb. I believe it was 1.2 pounds to every Gallon you have in your tank for 1 inch thickness. 1.5 I suppose if you want it thick! This doesn't apply to all substrate because of difference in density but I find that it's very true with sand.
IMOE, thicker means you'll have to watch your params carefully as harmful waste can get trapped. 20-23 lbs might be the max suggested depending on your tank's footprint. If you go to IPU, that's 2 light load trips or a 10 lb bag in each hand for the 1 trip win

. That will cost you around $25 but a much safer bet.
Should all else fail, I have a bag that I was saving of Tan S-Grade 3M Colorquartz that might hit the 20lb mark (dry of course). If need be, feel free to PM me anytime. I drive though BBY sometimes.